Week 11 2021 picks

Last week: 6-7-1
Season record: 86-63-1

Okay so let me get this out of the way.  Ties suck.  I remember back in the day going to Islanders games before they went to having overtimes and shootouts.  When you walk out of a tie game, it feels weird.  You don't know if you should be happy or pissed, so you leave feeling.....nothing.  It's just stupid.  I really can't believe the Steelers were so inept without Big Ben that they almost lost to the fucking Lions at home!  But no, the Lions were who we thought they were, except for the not losing part.  Anyway, I was tempted to call the tie a loss, but fuck that....it's not my fault it ended that way.  So now I have to put that -1 in my record, and when I do I feel nothing again.

New England at Atlanta--Oh good, we're going to be reminded of that stupid Super Bowl from a few years ago, when Matt Ryan's Falcons couldn't hold a 28-3 lead and lost in OT.  I feel bad for their fans (all seven of them) who have to endure that.  Patriots 23, Falcons 20

Indianapolis at Buffalo--Hey, look!  Jonathan Taylor just ran for a 50 yard TD as I was typing this.  That dude is the real deal and will be a consensus #1 fantasy pick next year.  Bills 30, Colts 24

Baltimore at Chicago--I really think the clock is ticking on Matt Nagy's ouster.  And I realize that's not a new and exciting take.  Everyone fucking knows it.  Ravens 24, Bears 17

Detroit at Cleveland--I have an idea.  Like the shootouts in hockey, if there is still a tie after 10 minutes of OT, have a punt, pass and kick competition.  It's as awesome an idea as it is stupid, right?  Browns 31, Lions 12

Houston at Tennessee--So DeShaun Watson is really going to wallow on the bench for an entire season?  That's just so wrong, Houston.  Titans 33, Texans 14

Green Bay at Minnesota--Aaron Rodgers really surprised me by being such an anti-vaxxer complete with right wing talking points.  And frankly I'm still pissed he didn't get flagged for taunting the fans in Chicago.  Packers 21, Vikings 20

Miami at NY Jets--Did another Jets QB become a flash in the pan?  Well, unvaccinated Joe Flacco will start so yeah, I think Mike White's fairy tale may have ended early.  Jets 19, Dolphins 16

New Orleans at Philadelphia--Everywhere people are saying how much the Eagles suck.  Then why do all the highlights and in-game looks I see show me Jalen Hurts connecting with Devonta Smith and the Eagles crushing it?  I guess they did lose 6 games along the way, so there's that.  Eagles 27, Saints 24

Washington at Carolina--Cam is back and he gets to face his old coach.  Get your popcorn ready.  Or not.  Panthers 25, WFT 20

San Francisco at Jacksonville--Last week I had the stones to say that the Niners would upset the Rams on MNF and I was rewarded with a 31-10 statement from them.  Now there will be an explosion of shit on the bed as they fly across the country and get humiliated by Urban Meyer.  Jags 21, Niners 18

Cincinnati at Las Vegas--Two teams I absolutely can't figure out, and neither can you.  Raiders 28, Bengals 24

Dallas at Kansas City--Dallas had a one game blip of garbage and KC had a 3-4 game blip of the same garbage.  But they both had resounding wins last week in preparation of this one.  Cowboys 33, Chiefs 31

Arizona at Seattle--Russell Wilson was shut out last week in Green Bay.  Yikes.  Kyler may be back Sunday, but I still think the Hawks get back on track at home.  Seahawks 23, Cards 20

Pittsburgh at LA Chargers--Um, WTF Chargers?  I thought you guys were going deep in the playoffs this year but you have stubbed too many toes.  Just remember the team your facing almost lost to the Lions last Sunday.  Chargers 30, Steelers 23

NY Giants at Tampa Bay--Oh good, another national TV game for my Giants to implode on.  They actually came damn close to beating the Chiefs three weeks ago, and last year they came even closer to beating this same Brady-led Bucs team, also on Monday night.  Oh man, I'm envisioning several Daniel Jones sack-fumbles by JPP.  Bucs 26, Giants 20 

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