Week 5 2021 picks

Last week: 12-4 (oh yeah!)
Season record: 40-24

We don't typically toot our own horn, but 12-4 feels pretty good.  I think the balance of power in the NFL is taking shape as a quarter-ish of the season is done.  We say "ish" because of course we've got a 17 game season that NO ONE ASKED FOR.  It's gonna take a few years before we get used to records like 12-5, 9-8 or, if you're the Jaguars, 0-17.  Anyway, on to the picks.....

LA Rams at Seattle--Suddenly the mighty Rams don't look as mighty after getting the shit kicked out of them AT HOME by their little brother, Kyler Murray's Cardinals.  And while the Hawks now have a pulse, the Rams are wide awake.  Rams 27, Seahawks 25

NY Jets vs. Atlanta at London--Oh yeah, the London games are back, and true to form we give the other side of the pond this gift of two shitty teams.  But hey, there is nothing wrong with games that start at 8:30am where I live!  Jets 20, Falcons 17

Green Bay at Cincinnati--It sure is weird seeing the Bengals, Browns and Ravens tied for the division lead at 3-1 while the Steelers are 1-3.  Packers 22, Bengals 19

Detroit at Minnesota--If you've seen the Vikings play this season, it's safe to say they should not be 1-3.  But they *should* take care of business against Dan Campbell's AAA squad.  Vikings 34, Lions 13

Denver at Pittsburgh--Ben looks....what's the word.....OLD?  I mean holy shit, he became Tim Tebow overnight--the baseball version of Tim Tebow.  However, here comes Drew Lock!  Lock is also as bad as baseball Tim Tebow.  Steelers 23, Broncos 10

Miami at Tampa Bay--Whew, we made it through the Super Bowl level hype of Brady vs. Belichick.  Now we get to watch the Bucs abuse a much inferior team.  Bucs 29, Dolphins13

New Orleans at Washington--Seriously, WTF happened to the WFT defense?  They were frighteningly good last season.  Their pass rush is still in hibernation, and Chase Young has ZERO sacks through four games.  WFT 23, Saints 20

Philadelphia at Carolina--I think it's safe to say the Panthers hired a good coach in Matt Ruhle.  That team has turned things around, with Sam Darnold at QB.   Let that sink in.  Panthers 27, Eagles 20

Tennessee at Jacksonville--Tens of thousands of people will be on hand to watch the football version of paint drying.  At least we can look over there, where Urban is getting a lap dance from a college chick.  Yikes.  Titans 24, Jags 20

New England at Houston--Does anyone get the feeling that after this game, DeShaun Watson will walk across the field and fly home on Robert Kraft's plane?  Patriots 19, Texans 3

Chicago at Las Vegas--The Raiders, Chargers and Broncos are all 3-1 while KC is 2-2.  Is it possible for four teams in one division to make the playoffs?  Raiders 26, Bears 21

Cleveland at LA Chargers--For my money, or even your money, this is the best game of the week--one that might be an AFC title game preview.  Don't get too excited, I said "might".  Chargers 28, Browns 26

NY Giants at Dallas--Please tell me we don't have the Joe Buck game this week (tells me we have the Joe Buck game).  My Giants win one fucking game, and suddenly their game against a terrifying Cowboys team is the Fox "game of the week".....I can't wait for Buck and Aikman to get excited as tight ends named Schultz and Jarhead combine for 20 catches, 202 yards and 4 TDs.  Ugg.  Cowboys 41, Giants 23

San Francisco at Arizona--You mean to tell me this exciting Arizona team doesn't rise to the level of Buck/Aikman?  Cards 37, Niners 22

Buffalo at Kansas City--There is a better than good chance the Chiefs will be 2-3 after Sunday night's game.  Regardless, this is gonna be a barn burner.  A real humdinger.  I'm practicing my geezer terms as geezerhood is upon me!  Josh, Patrick, get off my lawn!  Chiefs 31, Bills 29

Indianapolis at Baltimore--Is it me or have the Ravens played every game this year in prime time?  Anyway, here we have the team formerly from Baltimore against the team formerly from Cleveland.  Ravens 29, Colts 17

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wild Card Weekend picks

Last time (Week 17): 12-3 Season record: 81-37-1 So last week after the Damar Hamlin near-death experience shook the NFL universe, I wasn't exactly in the mood to make my Week 18 predictions.  Thankfully, Damar is out of the hospital and doing really, really well; which is better news than anything from any actual games being played.  What's more, the news kept getting better.  By Sunday afternoon, there were tweets and photos of Damar watching the Bills-Patriots game in his hospital room with his parents, as the Bills' Nyheim Hines ran back the opening kickoff for a touchdown.  That gave everyone in Buffalo and every football fan everywhere a jolt of pure and cathartic elation that we needed more than any of us realized.   And now we gear up for the playoffs, starting with two games tomorrow.  So let's make some picks! Seattle at San Francisco --I think we're going to be reminded that this first weekend of the playoffs usually features lopsided s...
Read more

Divisional Round picks

Last week: 4-2 Season record: 85-39-1 Many people, including yours truly, consider this the best weekend in football.  We've weeded out the lesser playoff teams, and while there are only four games, the matchups feature the best teams in the NFL.  This is when some really good teams go home, and when four teams will be one win from the Super Bowl.  Yeah I know I'm stating the obvious, but I'm just really giddy--not because of the quality of the games, but because my New York Football Giants are still standing.  I did not pick them to win last week but was thrilled that they did.  Now they look to upset the 1-seed Eagles, which is very unlikely but after watching last week, not completely out of the question.  So you're saying there's a chance?  Yes I am.  Let's get to it...... Jacksonville at Kansas City --If anyone knows Andy Reid's coaching tendencies, it's Jags' coach Doug Pederson, who played for Reid and coached under him.  This Jags tea...
Read more

Week 17 picks

Last week: 12-4 Season record: 69-34-1 Things are getting interesting and exciting and, in some ways, absolutely riveting.  This is when the NFL is must-see TV, vying for playoff berths and positioning.  And at the moment, there are so many teams that are still alive for the postseason, it's even more intriguing.  So let's go..... Dallas at Tennessee --Did anyone else happen to get the license plate of the suck truck that blindsided the Titans over a month ago?  I didn't realize they had lost five in a row until literally just now.  Make that six.  Cowboys 41, Titans 17 Arizona at Atlanta --All this matchup makes we wanna do is yawn.  A lot.  Falcons 20, Cards 16 Chicago at Detroit --The Bears have an outside shot at the #1 overall pick, and of all teams it's the Lions that can help them with that.  Lions 31, Bears 23 Jacksonville at Houston --The division leaders in each South division have losing records at 7-8.  Which begs the qu...
Read more