Week 3 2021 picks

Last week: 8-8
Season record: 17-15

I can't believe some of the results last week.  But to be fair, it was basically a continuation of the Week 1 weirdness, and who knows how much longer that will continue.  So let's throw some more spaghetti against the wall for Week 3!

Carolina at Houston--This prediction is based solely on the fact that my fantasy opponent has Christian McCaffrey.  Expect four touchdowns and maybe 220 yards.  Panthers 28, Texans 14

Washington at Buffalo--I picked against the Bills last week, who promptly shut the fuck out of the Dolphins in Miami.  I won't make that mistake again.  Bills 27, WFC 17

Chicago at Cleveland--I hear Justin Fields will make the start which means Andy Dalton will be holding a clipboard for a long while.  Browns 20, Bears 19

Baltimore at Detroit--Lamar has re-established himself, so look out.  Ravens 34, Lions 13

Indianapolis at Tennessee--Something in my brain flashed back to when I lived in Nashville and Peyton Manning would regularly find ways to beat the Titans, pretty much every fucking time.  That was pretty annoying.  Titans 26, Colts 23

LA Chargers at Kansas City--Back to fantasy for a minute.  I have young phenom and future league MVP Justin Herbert as my QB.  So naturally he's off to a weak start statistically.  But I swear if the refs stick two yellow flags up my ass again and take two TDs off the board for Herbert/me, heads will roll (not really).  Chiefs 38, Chargers 35

New Orleans at New England--Jameis remembered he was Jameis last week, and Billy B is going to do the same to him that he did to Zach Wilson. Patriots 27, Saints 16

Atlanta at NY Giants--If there is a new and inventive way to lose, my G-men will find it.  We lost that game last week at least five times.  And we'll find a way to blow this one too.  Falcons 31, Giants 21

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh--Did the Steelers really lose to the Raiders at home?  And did Joe Burrow really throw three straight interceptions?  I really wanna pick the upset here but I just don't see it.  Steelers 23, Bengals 10

Arizona at Jacksonville--Urban Meyer will be the head coach at USC before the games of  Week 4 in the NFL begins.  Cards 33, Jags 20

NY Jets at Denver--If the Jets whiffed on another top 3 QB, hooo boy.  Broncos 24, Jets 9

Miami at Las Vegas--Tua's permanent position on the Dolphins is not QB, it's IR.  Raiders 24, Dolphins 19

Tampa Bay at LA Rams--This could be an NFC title game preview and definitely the best game of the week.  Which of course means it'll be ruined by Joe B(S)uck.  Bucs 31, Rams 30

Seattle at Minnesota--If you haven't heard the call of the Vikings' radio team calling the missed field goal last Sunday, you need to stop what you're doing and listen to this.  Vikings 27, Seahawks 24

Green Bay at San Francisco--I think Aaron Rodgers is still bitter about being drafted 22 spots lower than Alex Smith.  Niners 26, Packers 20

Philadelphia at Dallas--The Cowboys are for real, and that irritates me to no end.  This MNF game is their home opener, against another team that irritates me to no end.  So at least I'll be half happy.  Cowboys 42, Eagles 27

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