Week 16 picks
Last week: 9-7
Season record: 137-87-1
Rolling right along, huh? At this point most playoff seeds are set, but hopefully we'll get at least two games that come down to the wire in Week 17. But regardless, the playoffs are gonna be wide open (except for the fucking Patriots). Let's see what's on tap for this week.....where three Saturday games replace the Thursday game:
Houston at Tampa Bay--Remember when Chuck Pagano was diagnosed with cancer a few years back and Bruce Arians was the interim coach, and he had the Colts playing way above their heads? I think he's doing that again with the Bucs, and has Jameis Winston having a career year. Aside from Mike Tomlin, I think Arians will get some coach of the year consideration. Texans 27, Bucs 24
Buffalo at New England--If Buffalo wins this game, there will be a two-way tie atop the AFC East, and you should read that line again because I can't believe I just wrote it. And the way the Bills are playing, it's not ridiculous to think it'll happen. Well, maybe a bit ridiculous. Pats 23, Bills 19
LA Rams at San Francisco--This might be a defining moment in time for Kyle Shanahan's young team, if they are able to eliminate the defending NFC champs at home in Week 16. Niners 24, Rams 20
NY Giants at Washington--There is a battle for the 2-seed going on here--the 2-seed of draft position. Skins 23, Giants 16
New Orleans at Tennessee--The Saints are rounding into form, trying to avoid being fucked over by the refs in a big game this time around. This pick is a reach, but this season has been a reach. Titans 22, Saints 19
Pittsburgh at NY Jets--The Steelers are not going to relinquish the 6-seed by losing to the Jets, are they? I bet LeVeon Bell is hoping for that. Jets 21, Steelers 17
Cincinnati at Miami--With the Bengals having the first pick in the draft all but locked up, this game has big implications for the teams that may or may not be tanking. Dolphins 20, Bengals 17
Carolina at Indianapolis--I saw a clip of Frank Caliendo the other day, and he referred to Andrew Luck's voice sounding like he "swallowed a muppet." Yes! Hopefully Andrew is working on his puppeteer skills in retirement. Panthers 30, Colts 24
Baltimore at Cleveland--You can't stop Lamar Jackson, and you cannot even hope to contain him. Ravens 38, Browns 17
Jacksonville at Atlanta--Two of the more maddening teams to pick every week. I'm tempted to predict a tie here. Falcons 22, Jags 17
Oakland at LA Chargers--Chuckie really needs to go back to ESPN, and Chris Berman can take his place as HC of the Raidezzzzzz. Raiders 24, Chargers 23
Detroit at Denver--I look forward to not watching this one. Broncos 28, Lions 10
Arizona at Seattle--Now that the Seahawks are the 1-seed, it's hard to imagine them relinquishing it, at least this week. Seahawks 30, Cards 20
Dallas at Philadelphia--As a Giants fan, it pains me to say that this matchup for supremacy in the NFC East is more like who goes home and who doesn't but has to sit at the kiddie table during the playoffs. Cowboys 28, Eagles 26
Kansas City at Chicago--In that Frank Caliendo clip I mentioned a few picks ago, he also said that Patrick Mahomes also has some Muppet influence....as in, he sounds like Ernie or Kermit. Chiefs 19, Bears 16
Green Bay at Minnesota--This is as good a Monday nighter as we've had all year. Vikings 31, Packers 28
Season record: 137-87-1
Rolling right along, huh? At this point most playoff seeds are set, but hopefully we'll get at least two games that come down to the wire in Week 17. But regardless, the playoffs are gonna be wide open (except for the fucking Patriots). Let's see what's on tap for this week.....where three Saturday games replace the Thursday game:
Houston at Tampa Bay--Remember when Chuck Pagano was diagnosed with cancer a few years back and Bruce Arians was the interim coach, and he had the Colts playing way above their heads? I think he's doing that again with the Bucs, and has Jameis Winston having a career year. Aside from Mike Tomlin, I think Arians will get some coach of the year consideration. Texans 27, Bucs 24
Buffalo at New England--If Buffalo wins this game, there will be a two-way tie atop the AFC East, and you should read that line again because I can't believe I just wrote it. And the way the Bills are playing, it's not ridiculous to think it'll happen. Well, maybe a bit ridiculous. Pats 23, Bills 19
LA Rams at San Francisco--This might be a defining moment in time for Kyle Shanahan's young team, if they are able to eliminate the defending NFC champs at home in Week 16. Niners 24, Rams 20
NY Giants at Washington--There is a battle for the 2-seed going on here--the 2-seed of draft position. Skins 23, Giants 16
New Orleans at Tennessee--The Saints are rounding into form, trying to avoid being fucked over by the refs in a big game this time around. This pick is a reach, but this season has been a reach. Titans 22, Saints 19
Pittsburgh at NY Jets--The Steelers are not going to relinquish the 6-seed by losing to the Jets, are they? I bet LeVeon Bell is hoping for that. Jets 21, Steelers 17
Cincinnati at Miami--With the Bengals having the first pick in the draft all but locked up, this game has big implications for the teams that may or may not be tanking. Dolphins 20, Bengals 17
Carolina at Indianapolis--I saw a clip of Frank Caliendo the other day, and he referred to Andrew Luck's voice sounding like he "swallowed a muppet." Yes! Hopefully Andrew is working on his puppeteer skills in retirement. Panthers 30, Colts 24
Baltimore at Cleveland--You can't stop Lamar Jackson, and you cannot even hope to contain him. Ravens 38, Browns 17
Jacksonville at Atlanta--Two of the more maddening teams to pick every week. I'm tempted to predict a tie here. Falcons 22, Jags 17
Oakland at LA Chargers--Chuckie really needs to go back to ESPN, and Chris Berman can take his place as HC of the Raidezzzzzz. Raiders 24, Chargers 23
Detroit at Denver--I look forward to not watching this one. Broncos 28, Lions 10
Arizona at Seattle--Now that the Seahawks are the 1-seed, it's hard to imagine them relinquishing it, at least this week. Seahawks 30, Cards 20
Dallas at Philadelphia--As a Giants fan, it pains me to say that this matchup for supremacy in the NFC East is more like who goes home and who doesn't but has to sit at the kiddie table during the playoffs. Cowboys 28, Eagles 26
Kansas City at Chicago--In that Frank Caliendo clip I mentioned a few picks ago, he also said that Patrick Mahomes also has some Muppet influence....as in, he sounds like Ernie or Kermit. Chiefs 19, Bears 16
Green Bay at Minnesota--This is as good a Monday nighter as we've had all year. Vikings 31, Packers 28
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