Week 6 picks
Last week: 8-7
Season record: 43-35-1
Yeah, things are really ass backwards in the NFL right now. My Giants trailed the mighty Patriots by just seven points with eight minutes left in the game, and the Pats dominated time of possession and pretty much every statistic, yet they came up with some big plays on defense and Daniel Jones, despite throwing three picks, showed flashes of brilliance again and a TD pass to Golden Tate was the first one allowed by the Pats' D this season. The Pats also shot themselves in the foot a bunch of times but in the end, they did win by three touchdowns. But most Giants fans will tell you today that we were pleased with the result.
And now, let's get to what we came here for.....
Carolina vs. Tampa Bay at London--Ah, this is the London game we've been looking forward to. Not because of the matchup, because, well duh. But because it's an afternoon game there, it's an 8:30 am start where I live. I would like more of these start times, please. Panthers 27, Bucs 26
Washington at Miami--This is the game the 2008 Detroit Lions (0-16) will be watching, as at the end of it, only one of the two teams will remain winless. Of course, the Jets and Bengals will still be a threat to that perfect losing record. Skins 22, Dolphins 19
Philadelphia at Minnesota--I wish I wasn't about to tell you Vikings fans that you are going to get curb stomped Sunday after looking so good against my G-men. And Thielen and Diggs will go back to bashing poor old Kirk. And I will say "dammit." Eagles 27, Vikings 17
Cincinnati at Baltimore--Remember how the Browns went to Baltimore and exorcised some demons? Yeah, this will be that in reverse. Ravens 42, Bengals 10
Seattle at Cleveland--Whatever you do, Browns, don't let your temperamental wide receiver near any kicking nets. Because you're already getting a taste of, you know, baggage. Browns 24, Seahawks 20
New Orleans at Jacksonville--True story. I picked second in my fantasy draft. I prepared to take Saquon Barkley or Alvin Kamara. But then the guy who picked first took Christian McCaffrey, baffling me because I hadn't prepared for that scenario. I took Kamara and, suffice to say that me and the guy who took Barkley third are wondering what that guy know that we didn't. Fantasy football sucks (unless it doesn't). Jags 21, Saints 19
Houston at Kansas City--Speaking of fantasy, Will Fuller had like 7 catches for 80 yards and no TDs through four games, so I benched him. You know what happened....over 200 yards receiving and THREE TDs. I'm this close to firing myself due to lineup malpractice. Chiefs 42, Texans 39
Atlanta at Arizona--Holy shit, there are six early window games and four late window games. PLUS a morning game and a Sunday Nighter. That's like 15 hours of football and many angry spouses. Cards 23, Falcons 20
San Francisco at LA Rams--Are the Niners really this good? I think we will have our answer by Sunday evening. Rams 30, Niners 21
Tennessee at Denver--If this was the only game on I might consider watching Masterpiece Theatre or something. Titans 17, Broncos 16
Dallas at NY Jets--By the time Sam Darnold comes back from the kissing disease, the Jets will have been mathematically eliminated and LeVeon Bell will have asked to be traded. Cowboys 31, Jets 7
Pittsburgh at LA Chargers--Has Snoop Dogg weighed in on his Steelers' shitty season yet? I wanna hear one of his voice mails to Pittsburgh's front office like that meltdown from a few years back. Chargers 28, Steelers 20
Detroit at Green Bay--Hey ESPN......I see you, and yeah sometimes a blind squirrel DOES find an acorn. Now will the game live up to the fact that you have an actual competitive contest? I wouldn't bet on it. Packers 35, Lions 31
Season record: 43-35-1
Yeah, things are really ass backwards in the NFL right now. My Giants trailed the mighty Patriots by just seven points with eight minutes left in the game, and the Pats dominated time of possession and pretty much every statistic, yet they came up with some big plays on defense and Daniel Jones, despite throwing three picks, showed flashes of brilliance again and a TD pass to Golden Tate was the first one allowed by the Pats' D this season. The Pats also shot themselves in the foot a bunch of times but in the end, they did win by three touchdowns. But most Giants fans will tell you today that we were pleased with the result.
And now, let's get to what we came here for.....
Carolina vs. Tampa Bay at London--Ah, this is the London game we've been looking forward to. Not because of the matchup, because, well duh. But because it's an afternoon game there, it's an 8:30 am start where I live. I would like more of these start times, please. Panthers 27, Bucs 26
Washington at Miami--This is the game the 2008 Detroit Lions (0-16) will be watching, as at the end of it, only one of the two teams will remain winless. Of course, the Jets and Bengals will still be a threat to that perfect losing record. Skins 22, Dolphins 19
Philadelphia at Minnesota--I wish I wasn't about to tell you Vikings fans that you are going to get curb stomped Sunday after looking so good against my G-men. And Thielen and Diggs will go back to bashing poor old Kirk. And I will say "dammit." Eagles 27, Vikings 17
Cincinnati at Baltimore--Remember how the Browns went to Baltimore and exorcised some demons? Yeah, this will be that in reverse. Ravens 42, Bengals 10
Seattle at Cleveland--Whatever you do, Browns, don't let your temperamental wide receiver near any kicking nets. Because you're already getting a taste of, you know, baggage. Browns 24, Seahawks 20
New Orleans at Jacksonville--True story. I picked second in my fantasy draft. I prepared to take Saquon Barkley or Alvin Kamara. But then the guy who picked first took Christian McCaffrey, baffling me because I hadn't prepared for that scenario. I took Kamara and, suffice to say that me and the guy who took Barkley third are wondering what that guy know that we didn't. Fantasy football sucks (unless it doesn't). Jags 21, Saints 19
Houston at Kansas City--Speaking of fantasy, Will Fuller had like 7 catches for 80 yards and no TDs through four games, so I benched him. You know what happened....over 200 yards receiving and THREE TDs. I'm this close to firing myself due to lineup malpractice. Chiefs 42, Texans 39
Atlanta at Arizona--Holy shit, there are six early window games and four late window games. PLUS a morning game and a Sunday Nighter. That's like 15 hours of football and many angry spouses. Cards 23, Falcons 20
San Francisco at LA Rams--Are the Niners really this good? I think we will have our answer by Sunday evening. Rams 30, Niners 21
Tennessee at Denver--If this was the only game on I might consider watching Masterpiece Theatre or something. Titans 17, Broncos 16
Dallas at NY Jets--By the time Sam Darnold comes back from the kissing disease, the Jets will have been mathematically eliminated and LeVeon Bell will have asked to be traded. Cowboys 31, Jets 7
Pittsburgh at LA Chargers--Has Snoop Dogg weighed in on his Steelers' shitty season yet? I wanna hear one of his voice mails to Pittsburgh's front office like that meltdown from a few years back. Chargers 28, Steelers 20
Detroit at Green Bay--Hey ESPN......I see you, and yeah sometimes a blind squirrel DOES find an acorn. Now will the game live up to the fact that you have an actual competitive contest? I wouldn't bet on it. Packers 35, Lions 31
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