Week 2 picks
Last night: 0-1
Last week: 8-7-1
Season record: 8-8-1
Arizona at Baltimore--It's jarring to look at the slate of games on NFL.com, and see that a team is 0-0-1. Ties suck in any sport but especially in football, and especially when players, fans, media, etc. invest 3+ hours only to end up where they started. But behold, my solution--after the 10 minute OT, have a "kick-off" similar to a shootout in hockey or soccer. Three kicks each, and then sudden death until there is a winner. I know what you're thinking, that you don't want a game decided by kickers--but hell, half the games are decided by them anyway. Who's with me? Ravens 37, Cards 10
San Francisco at Cincinnati--Sometimes I want to run from making a pick. This is one of those times, but if I opted out I'd have a (gasp) tie on my record. Screw that! Bengals 23, Niners 20
LA Chargers at Detroit--Last week I was thinking how dominant this Chargers team looked against Baltimore in the playoffs, and picked them to annihilate the Luck-less Colts. But Indy took them to overtime before the Chargers won. Detroit? They were the other half of that Arizona tie, but really choked down the stretch of that game after being up 24-6. Chargers 27, Lions 20
Minnesota at Green Bay--The Packers' home opener has to be more entertaining than their sleepy 10-3 win in Chicago on TNF last week, right? I don't know, but I sure don't like picking against Aaron Rodgers at home. Packers 31, Vikings 27
Jacksonville at Houston--When your shiny new Super Bowl MVP QB breaks his collar bone on opening day, your season may already be over. Add to that the fact that you have to go to a guy named Gardner Minshew, whose name sounds like item # C34 off the Chinese takeout menu. Texans 28, Jags 17
New England at Miami--The Dolphins always seem to either beat or appear very competitive against the Pats, especially at home. This week they won't seem to look like anything but a very shitty team. Pats 42, Dolphins 9
Buffalo at NY Giants--I don't know if the Giants' defense is that bad or if Dallas' offense is that good. Maybe a bit of both, and while I don't have a good feeling about my Giants in general, I have a feeling they will pull this one out. Or not. But probably. Maybe not. Giants 24, Bills 23
Seattle at Pittsburgh--How many of those sandwiches with the french fries do you think Big Ben could eat? Probably a few more than Russell Wilson. Steelers 27, Seahawks 26
Indianapolis at Tennessee--Serious question--if the league contracted both "South" divisions, would anyone notice? Titans 24, Colts 19
Dallas at Washington--The Skins gave the Eagles a run for their cheesesteak last week, so this may not be as lopsided as most pundits are predicting. In fact it would not shock me if they pulled out a win. Oh wait, a Gruden still coaches them. Cowboys 31, Redskins 24
Kansas City at Oakland--The NFL is back to putting 10 games early and only 3 late. Bite me, Goodell. Chiefs 42, Raiders 17
Chicago at Denver--Did I see Jay Cutler on the Bears' sideline last week? I wonder if he will be on the sidelines with them against his other former team this week? Why should you care? I got nothing. Bears 20, Broncos 19
New Orleans at LA Rams--I feel like Sean Payton will find some way to show his bitterness about how that NFC title game ended. Like maybe he'll come out with a yellow flag sticking out of his fly. Saints 37, Rams 35
Philadelphia at Atlanta--Does anyone else find Al Michaels annoying? I know it's sacrilegious to say that since he called the Miracle on Ice, but I'd rather see Mike Tirico in there. Speaking of annoying announcers, I turned on the Bucs/Panthers game Thursday. That lasted all of 20 seconds once I heard Joe Buck's stupid voice. Eagles 31, Falcons 21
Cleveland at NY Jets--As bad as the Browns looked in the opener, the Jets lost Sam Darnold for 3-6 weeks due to MONO.....MONO! The Jets also showed last week that their run of bad luck knows no bounds. Browns 24, Jets 13
Last week: 8-7-1
Season record: 8-8-1
Arizona at Baltimore--It's jarring to look at the slate of games on NFL.com, and see that a team is 0-0-1. Ties suck in any sport but especially in football, and especially when players, fans, media, etc. invest 3+ hours only to end up where they started. But behold, my solution--after the 10 minute OT, have a "kick-off" similar to a shootout in hockey or soccer. Three kicks each, and then sudden death until there is a winner. I know what you're thinking, that you don't want a game decided by kickers--but hell, half the games are decided by them anyway. Who's with me? Ravens 37, Cards 10
San Francisco at Cincinnati--Sometimes I want to run from making a pick. This is one of those times, but if I opted out I'd have a (gasp) tie on my record. Screw that! Bengals 23, Niners 20
LA Chargers at Detroit--Last week I was thinking how dominant this Chargers team looked against Baltimore in the playoffs, and picked them to annihilate the Luck-less Colts. But Indy took them to overtime before the Chargers won. Detroit? They were the other half of that Arizona tie, but really choked down the stretch of that game after being up 24-6. Chargers 27, Lions 20
Minnesota at Green Bay--The Packers' home opener has to be more entertaining than their sleepy 10-3 win in Chicago on TNF last week, right? I don't know, but I sure don't like picking against Aaron Rodgers at home. Packers 31, Vikings 27
Jacksonville at Houston--When your shiny new Super Bowl MVP QB breaks his collar bone on opening day, your season may already be over. Add to that the fact that you have to go to a guy named Gardner Minshew, whose name sounds like item # C34 off the Chinese takeout menu. Texans 28, Jags 17
New England at Miami--The Dolphins always seem to either beat or appear very competitive against the Pats, especially at home. This week they won't seem to look like anything but a very shitty team. Pats 42, Dolphins 9
Buffalo at NY Giants--I don't know if the Giants' defense is that bad or if Dallas' offense is that good. Maybe a bit of both, and while I don't have a good feeling about my Giants in general, I have a feeling they will pull this one out. Or not. But probably. Maybe not. Giants 24, Bills 23
Seattle at Pittsburgh--How many of those sandwiches with the french fries do you think Big Ben could eat? Probably a few more than Russell Wilson. Steelers 27, Seahawks 26
Indianapolis at Tennessee--Serious question--if the league contracted both "South" divisions, would anyone notice? Titans 24, Colts 19
Dallas at Washington--The Skins gave the Eagles a run for their cheesesteak last week, so this may not be as lopsided as most pundits are predicting. In fact it would not shock me if they pulled out a win. Oh wait, a Gruden still coaches them. Cowboys 31, Redskins 24
Kansas City at Oakland--The NFL is back to putting 10 games early and only 3 late. Bite me, Goodell. Chiefs 42, Raiders 17
Chicago at Denver--Did I see Jay Cutler on the Bears' sideline last week? I wonder if he will be on the sidelines with them against his other former team this week? Why should you care? I got nothing. Bears 20, Broncos 19
New Orleans at LA Rams--I feel like Sean Payton will find some way to show his bitterness about how that NFC title game ended. Like maybe he'll come out with a yellow flag sticking out of his fly. Saints 37, Rams 35
Philadelphia at Atlanta--Does anyone else find Al Michaels annoying? I know it's sacrilegious to say that since he called the Miracle on Ice, but I'd rather see Mike Tirico in there. Speaking of annoying announcers, I turned on the Bucs/Panthers game Thursday. That lasted all of 20 seconds once I heard Joe Buck's stupid voice. Eagles 31, Falcons 21
Cleveland at NY Jets--As bad as the Browns looked in the opener, the Jets lost Sam Darnold for 3-6 weeks due to MONO.....MONO! The Jets also showed last week that their run of bad luck knows no bounds. Browns 24, Jets 13
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